SO, HOW MUCH DO YOU VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS?
A friend is a person (usually not a family member) that we know and like. We share similar interests with them and we like spending time with them. They tell you when you look good. They also tell you when you look like crap. They defend you in the midst of sharks; human sharks that is. Simply put, a friend is that person that has got your back.
So how are friendships developed? How do we become friends with someone? Is there ‘friendship at first sight’? you know, just like its cousin or brother or whatever…LOVE. Since some would swear to the existence of ‘love at first sight’, what about ‘friendship at first sight’? Right? Well, I think I kinda believe in it because I’ve met some people for the first time and I took an instant liking to them. As we say in Nigerian pidgin, “our spirits just gel” hahaha, wow that sounds…disturbingly funny. I have two friends like that. When I met each, I just felt this ease and peace (not that I was lacking peace in my life before, but you get my point sha). Yet there are other people you meet for the first time and you just don’t like them. They haven’t done anything bad to you (yet), but your ‘spirit nor just like dem’. Omo na spirit things when some kain friendships dey involved o. you just gotta trust your spirit aka gut instinct mehn!
Again you meet someone and you don’t like them. But this time, you have a reason other than what your ‘spirit’ told you the other time. This time though, this person has actually deserved to be not liked by you. For example, they act rudely and are obnoxious to people without reason. The people in this group have actually showed you by their actions that they are not really nice and you discover that other people seem to not like them too. But over time, you and the ‘annoying’ person become surprisingly close friends, and you discover that there is more to them than their annoying façade, which was the only thing you saw initially.
As months and years roll by, and changes occur in our lives, we make new friends and cement old friendships. We also let some friends go either amicably or nastily and they are all part of the maturing process because with time, we are more aware of the kinds of people we want in our lives. We are able to see through each friend and see them for who and what they really are; if you cannot be that discerning, then I don’t know what to say to you. You should be able to tell the difference between your hi-hi friends and your you-know-you-can-talk-to-me friends. In the same breath, each of us should strive to work on our friendships. If someone is always there for you when you are down, it is only fair that you do the same for them. Be wary of those so-called friends that only act nice when they need something from you.
Unconsciously, you may discover that in the long run, certain friends stand out. They are just too special and you can tell that there is a really cool bond between you. Your friendship has risen way above superficial things and you cannot quite explain how much they mean to you. Not everyone is fortunate to experience that level of friendship in their lifetime; some have experienced betrayal from people who they’d initially called friends and are reluctant about letting someone in again. But of course no friendship is without its ups and downs as that is all part of the stuff friendships are made of. Any friendship without the blend of tears and laughter is flat out ‘plastic’ and is just a failure-in-process.
But honestly, if you have experienced true friendship, you should just take a moment, pause, drink it in and let it marinate: the fact that you are indeed fortunate. Don’t fail to let your friend know through your words and actions, how special they are because true friendship is indeed a gift.