Sad marriage It doesn’t matter how that some people  act all macho and emotionless, pretending like they don’t care about love, every single person wants to be loved by that special someone. Humans have the innate desire to be and feel loved and as we go through life, we get it in different forms and from different people. As little kids we get it from our parents, siblings and other people close to us. As adults, even though love from the first source remains rock solid, we seek for a different kind of love; the one that nudges us gently towards that all important next stage of life: marriage. Now because our parents’ love comes almost automatically, we can’t expect the same from a complete stranger. We take our time when we get into romantic relationships because we don’t want to get hurt. In a relationship, love grows (or doesn’t) and people get into that ‘business’ for different reasons. Some do it for the fun of it, and because it’s cool to tell your friends that, “he’s my boyfriend” or “she’s my girlfriend”. Some are in relationships because they genuinely cannot stay alone; they just must have someone in their lives, just because. Others get into it without thinking of the long term. They like this person because they are good looking, sexy have great legs and all that superficial nonsense. Yet others dive deeper than the physical and look for more solid qualities; qualities that differ from one person to the next. But we can only do our best and generally hope for the best. Now can we just talk about when people find themselves in  loveless relationships or marriages (God forbid)? At least in a relationship like that, it’s easier to ‘dust your shoes’ and run for the hills; but in a loveless marriage? Hmmm. Even though it’s of course possible to still pack your ‘kaya’ and leave, it’s not  as easy in Africa as it is elsewhere in Europe and America. it is more difficult when there are kids involved. Nowadays though, Nigerians ‘dey vex’ and are ‘cutting chain’ (that is, they are breaking free and damning all the consequences). Seriously though, would you ever consider remaining in a loveless relationship (or marriage)? Sometimes from the beginning, your gut instinct tells you there’s no way you should be having anything called a relationship with this person, you ignore it because she’s very beautiful, with the ‘assets’ rightly proportioned. And on top of that, she’s got a very flat stomach (everybody knows how hard it is to get that these days abi?). For him, he is loaded (with money), drives a badass car, is very tall and ripped (you know, just the way you like’em) and even though you know he has girlfriends all over the place you decide to stay put like an effigy. And even though you really don’t understand how he makes his money…oh you do? And you still say, “well, I don’t care”? Okay then. You tell yourself, love will come later…much much later. Sometimes it does come later, and sometimes it doesn’t and it just spirals downward until you get to a point where it seems like you’re in prison and you feel like doing a ‘prison break’. But what if by then, you are already married with kids? Now from this point till the end of this post, it is all a ‘true life story’. Reality is here.

Photo credit: buzzle.com



  1. You could certainly see your expertise within the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. All the time follow your heart. “In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.” by Peter Ustinov.

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