I CAN NEVER MARRY SOMEONE FROM THAT TRIBE!

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Just thinking about the topic makes me laugh because it just shows how deliberately delusional anyone that makes such a statement is. It shows how backward-thinking that person is, because in this global age where many people are looking for ‘the way forward’,  such a person is always on the lookout for seeming characteristics and reasons why being with a person from a particular ethnic group is never going to happen. You know, people sometimes say things that make you want to doubt their sanity. Over time, certain snide comments have been made so often that today in Nigeria, such comments are somewhat accepted and ‘set in stone’.

For the females: Yoruba girls are dirty; Edo girls are prostitutes and witches; Ibo girls are materialistic; Kogi girls are troublemakers; Ijaw women like parties and ‘enjoyment’; Itshekiri women like ‘Oyibo’; Calabar girls are good in bed; Tiv girls are sexually wayward plus they drink heavily; Isoko girls are stingy; Urhobo girls drink a lot. And for the guys, Yoruba guys are caring plus they scare easily; Hausa men are uncircumcised; Urhobo men are polygamous; Ibo guys can really take care of their women (only if she’s Ibo too); Isoko  men are stingy; Tiv men will gladly give their women up as entertainment to their friend; Kogi men are touts; Ijaw men are flirts; Ibo guys can do anything for money… bla bla bla would you stop already??

Are tribal stereotypes 100% accurate? Or maybe 80%, 50%, 20%? Does your ethnic origin dictate your personality? For example if Ijaw men are flirts, automatically all the male flirts in this country are Ijaw men, right? Do you grow up to discover that your tribe is known for a particular trait and you naturally find yourself exhibiting that trait, or if you don’t have it yet, you make sure it becomes part of you? Is it also sometimes an excuse to behave abnormally? For example they say an Ibo man can do anything for money, so this young man goes to scary extremes just to get money and he says, “you know my people love money, so it’s not my fault”.

Personally I don’t care that a person is from a particular ethnic group before I become friends or even have a relationship with them.  I deal more with personal qualities rather than tribal sentiments. The world is full of beautiful varieties, different cultures waiting to be educated about than for me to weigh myself down with some myopic so-called ‘ethnic traits’. That’s me, so what about you? Do you consider the said traits of a person’s tribe before you consider even saying, ‘hello’ how much more dating? Or maybe you have a list of tribes you would NEVER consider marrying from, regardless of whether the person is a good person or not. If you do, just take a second to think how you would feel if someone you really, really like tells you ‘NO!” because you belong to a certain ethnic group they already decided they want nothing to do with.

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21 thoughts on “I CAN NEVER MARRY SOMEONE FROM THAT TRIBE!

  1. Quite a sensitive topic you’ve brought up here. Growing up in a multicultural environment like ours that’s constantly plagued with incessant inter-tribal rivalry and war, embeds in most people’sminds a thing or two about certain tribes; it’ll take an enlightened mind to remain neutral. Now while it’ll be unfair to draw deductive conclusions about a person based on his/her tribe, it’ll be fair to assume that a person never completely strays away from his cultural idiosyncracies.
    There are certain practices that are accepted by one tribe, but completely frowned on by another; you wouldn’t want this mix, trust me. The institution called marriage is taken very seriously in this part of the world, as its not only the union of two individuals alone but also of two families,so most people seeking partners consciously or uncounciously are wary of this.

    P.S: Errrrm…. Waffi guys and babes are known for?

    1. Waffi guys and babes are known for being very hilarious, making everyone around them feel happy and generally ‘not carrying last’. LOOL

    2. You made a striking point in your comment; that a person never completely strays away from his/her cultural idiosyncrasies. That’s is absolutely true. Thank you for your comment.

  2. Beautiful write up as usual.for me I don’t believe its a good way to tink and I don’t think a persons tribe will determine if I would marry her.I can marry some1 from Mars if she makes me happy

  3. Nice topic and write up….The Truth is that in Nigeria we are very tribalistic..SO when it comes to dating it is not an exception….I Like the angle you looked @…Perceived traits of Diff tribes….Bt What of taking a look at the differences in the culture in differents tribes…Most of the time the cultural differences the major issue why people don’t want to marry from another tribe…Take for instance followed my friend to benin to bury his Dad..Was suprised to know that women don’t ve a say or even a voice in their culture..The mother couldn’t talk @ any meeting make decisions…My friend the first born..made the decisions and attended the meeting..the mother was treated like she didn’t exist..
    That was strange to me ..comparing that to my culture..

    1. It is the difference in cultures that give rise to the perceptions and stereotypes about such cultures and like we all know, no one culture is superior to another. Each has it’s good side and it’s gray areas.

  4. Well said!! Tribe shud not be a barrier or a basis for not going into any relationship whether it be a mere platonic relationship or a romantic relationship!!

  5. M a south African HV a bby wid a ibgo guy bt his nt sincere.he cheated while I went to do my military training cumn finding out he had child hinder it for two gud yes….m nolonger wid him…bt wat bothers me z it good for Nigers to cum to our country and do such thngz all in the name of permit…..let love lead

  6. U see, thats the major reason why one need to pray very well b4 he chooses wife in naija. If u ask me, vannezuela, mexico, Brazil, USA, Egypt, India, &Angola here I come. U may be think 4 what now I search of a bride ni oo. God bless all the Nigerian girls oo, one love..

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