WHY DO PEOPLE USE PEOPLE?

Why do people use people? Is it out of laziness or out of the desire to feel superior or it’s out of selfishness? Or maybe it’s a combination of those factors. There are a million case scenarios of people using others for their personal gains. For example, a boss that demands their employee to work overtime without extra pay and also asks them to do their personal chores (tasks which are definitely out of the employee’s ‘jurisdiction’, so to speak). Just to bring that example further home, the ‘madam’ (owner) of a hair dressing salon tells the apprentice to pick her (madam’s) kids from school, go to her house and wash her clothes, defrost the meat and par-boil it and while she’s at it, she might as well ‘just’ sweep the living room and take the trash out. Now I’m not saying ALL of that would happen in a day but I’ve heard and seen three or four (even more) happening in a day. In this case, the user feels like an ‘Obama’ and basks in the fact that the ‘usee’ cannot say no as this would result in them being fired from their job or just sent away (forever…lol) as in the case of the apprentice. Depending on the disposition and circumstances (like family background) of the victim (yeah, they are victims now oo), the boss/madam starts to ‘grow wings’ and they become really outrageous in their demands and orders because they know that the victim is helpless.

In a case where laziness is the blame for using others, the person is always quick to ask for others’ help because they are not feeling too well, they woke up this morning and just noticed that their neck felt stiff and in fact they can’t even lift a cup. They make it look like they are the victim and you are a bad person if you don’t help them. They do this on different occasions and if you are not alert, you would never know you are being used. Do not mistake the so-called physical laziness of this person, they are mentally strong and know how to fashion excuses and wriggle out of situations where they have to render such help to you.

This sort of thing also happens in friendships and relationships where only one person is always going the extra mile to make sure the other person is happy.  The other person just sits back, relaxes and enjoys all the attention, never giving as much as their partner/friend does. In romantic relationships, it is usual that one person is more in love than the other person and sometimes the one who is less in love may think they are indispensable and can do whatever the heck they want. They believe that they can even make their partners drink cold pap ‘out of love’. They demand so much that it’s sometimes ridiculous, because they are control freaks and want to make sure they dictate what their partner does.

But there is an underlying factor in this despicable ‘art’ of using other people: SELFISHNESS. You don’t even have to squint to see that it overrides every form of ‘using people’. But why do people allow themselves to be used? Is it a case of being scared and helpless or…not KNOWING they are being used? If it is a case of the former, there is a solution as one can always muster courage and conquer fear and ‘seeming’ helplessness. As for the latter, *sigh* na double work be dat oo as the victim has to be made to realise that they are being used, before they then have to think of ways to free themselves of the shackles. It sucks to be used and no one likes the experience of being used because it makes them feel foolish. It also makes them think that the oppressor thinks they (the oppressor) are smart and few things gets someone more riled up than the fact that they have been outsmarted, outplayed or out-whatever.

Maybe if each person gave unselfishly their time, money and what else is necessary to make friendships, partnerships (business) and relationships work that the benefits and risks are mutual, there would be less instances of people using other people. In the end, one person doesn’t end up feeling like Einstein while the other person feels like crap.